A  man in Scotland calls his son in  London the day before  Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day  but I have to tell you that your mother  and I  are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is  enough.”
   
'Dad,  what are you talking about?' the son  screams.

“We  can't stand the sight of each other any longer” the  father says.   “We're  sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this,  so you call your  sister in Leeds and  tell her.”

Frantically,  the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.  “Like hell they're  getting divorced!” she shouts, “I'll take care of  this!”

She  calls Scotland   immediately, and screams at her father “You are  NOT getting  divorced.  Don't do a single thing until I get  there. I'm calling my brother  back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then,  don't do a thing, DO  YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man  hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Sorted!  They're coming  for Christmas - and they're paying their own  way.'